Read some thought provoking books this weekend.
In these five breaths – Paul R Lipton
This is a semi autobiographical piece from Paul Lipton, a retired attorney from Boulder. The protagonist ends up in a hospital, dying, with 5 breaths remaining. During each breath he relives periods of his life. As Soren Kierkegarrd says “Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.” Lipton attempts to make sense of his life, understand the ‘whys’ and the ‘why ifs’ before he is able to let go. He is finally able to comprehend the various facets of his relationships prior to his death. In the acknowledments section he says “We are mere visitors on this earth. Temporary occupants. Please stay connected with those who matter”
The courage to be disliked – Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
This is a Japanese book that explores the theories of Alfred Adler. Western psychology has been dominated by the “etiologic” theories of Jung and Freud since the 19th century. These theories posit that there is a “cause and effect” for everything that happens. Adler instead suggests we focus on the teleology – the purpose of a given phenomenon rather than its cause. The book is presented in a “Socratic” format – as a dialog between the youth and the philosopher. The philosopher puts forth some simple theories in this book:
- Trauma does not exist.
- People fabricate anger in order to support their arguments.
- The important thing is not what one is born with but what one makes of that equipment.
- Unhappiness is something that people choose.
- Your life is decided here and now.
- You are the only one worrying about your appearance.
- Deny the desire for recognition. It binds you. This reminds me of the core principle of the Bhagvad Gita – “You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction. Perform work in this world, Arjuna, a man established within himself – without selfish attachments and alike in success and defeat. For yoga is perfect evenness of mind.”
- Do not live to satisfy the expectations of others.
- All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.
- All interpersonal relationship troubles are caused by intruding on other people’s tasks, or having one’s own tasks intruded on.
- THE COURAGE TO BE HAPPY ALSO INCLUDES THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED.
- Forming good interpersonal relationships requires a certain degree of distance.
- You are not the center of the world.
- Do not rebuke or praise. Here he makes the argument that even though people like praise it creates a power differential in the relationship. One should say “thank you” rather than praise a subordinate.
- “Money is coined freedom”. However labor is not ‘only’ a means of making money. It is through labor that one makes contributions to society and has existential worth.
- Anecdote from Judaism “If there are 10 people,1 will be someone who criticizes you no matter what you do. This person will come to dislike you and you will not learn to like him either. Then, there will be 2 others who accept everything about you and whom you accept too, and you will become close friends with them. The remaining 7 people will be neither of these types”
- Happiness is the feeling of contribution to society. This can be either on the level of acts or on the level of being. But one does not need recognition from others.
- Life is not a line. It is a series of dots. Live in the here and now.
- And finally – “The courage to be normal”
I am behind you – John Lindqvist
Sweden’s Stephen King. A zombie apocalypse novel. Four families wake up on an average beautiful day in an ordinary campsite. The campground has disappeared and the world has been transformed into an endless expanse of grass. There is no sun, no flowers, no trees, no birds. Each holidaymaker has a secret desire and a hidden fear that they have to come to terms with. CAN THEY FIND THEIR WAY BACK TO REALITY??